Stay Faded, Don't Fade Out

Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month hits a little differently when you’ve lived through it instead of just reading about it.

A lot of you already know from my “It Was My Medicine Before I Knew It Was Medicine” article that I deal with mental health challenges and neurodiversity. That hasn’t changed. What has changed is how I’m learning to handle it.

I still have good days and bad days. Some are manageable, some aren’t. The difference now is I’m not trying to pretend I have it all figured out. I’m just trying to get better at dealing with it in real time.

I’m not perfect. Not even close. But if sharing some of this helps even one person feel a little less stuck in their own head, it’s worth saying out loud.

First things first, it’s ok not to be ok. Even just admitting that to yourself is one of the hardest things you can do, but also one of the most important. I still deal with this every day. Some days are fine, some aren’t. And some days are genuinely heavy. What’s changed is knowing I don’t have to carry it by myself.

That leads to the next thing: speak up. No one can help if they don’t know what’s going on. Building a support system only happens when you let people in. That took me a long time to understand. Growing up, you’re told to tough it out, figure it out, keep it moving. Asking for help gets treated like weakness. It isn’t. It was the most important step I ever took.

Then there’s therapy. I know it’s not for everyone. I used to think it wasn’t for me either. I was wrong. It didn’t click instantly, and I'm having to learn how to be open and honest in a way I'm used to. But having a space where you can actually say the things you wouldn’t say anywhere else… that helps.

Not every therapist will be the right fit, and that’s ok too.

But that doesn’t mean you stop trying. Even when it’s uncomfortable, even when it’s hard to open up, it still helps more than I expected.

I still struggle with it, and I don’t always get it right. And, if I'm being honest I still probably get it wrong more than right. But I’m trying, and that matters more than I used to give it credit for.

And if therapy isn’t something you’ve considered, or you’ve written it off like I did for a long time, I’d just say this: it doesn’t have to be perfect for it to help. It doesn’t have to feel comfortable right away. But having a space where you can actually say the things you don’t, won't, or can't say anywhere else… that helps.

Last thing I’ll say is this: you don’t have to wait until everything falls apart to ask for help. That was my mistake. I thought I had to hit a breaking point before I was allowed to reach out.

You don’t.

You can do it while you’re still standing.

And if things feel heavy right now, don’t wait for it to get worse before you say something. That’s the trap I used to fall into. I don't care if you know me or not, if you need to talk or just need to vent and let it out, my inbox and email is ALWAYS open.